Today was a particularly rough day. Serenity (who was aptly named as a baby) really misbehaved a lot at school today. She hit and kicked and stuck her tongue out at the teacher. She was just a terror – though not as bad as she has been in the past. She didn’t scream or yell horrible things at them like she used to do to me.
Her misbehavior made me feel like a bad mother. What am *I* doing wrong that she would behave this way? What could I do differently? What is wrong with me? These were questions that ran through my mind as I sat and cried. I felt so horribly lost.
We have tried to many things. Each time we tried something new we were very consistent and did exactly the same thing for several months to no avail. Finally, when she was 3.5 we sent her to daycare. I just couldn’t deal with her misbehavior any longer. It was making me feel so miserable and depressed. But did sending her away make me a bad mom?
Before then I had mixed views on mothers who put their kids in daycare when they could stay home with them. How could they let someone else raise their child? How could they allow someone else to decide who their child would be and form them into that person? How could they!?
Its funny how we view other peoples shoes when we’ve never once worn them ourselves. I guess it’s the whole plank in my eye, speck in yours thing. (Remove the “plank” from your own eye before you pick the “speck” from your friends eye.) Now I know. Now I understand that there are very valid reasons for putting your child in daycare. Please forgive me all you daycare-using parents out there. I meant no harm!!
I wont list the reasons for putting your child in daycare. That’s not what this is about. Its about how difficult it is to be a mom. But in my humble opinion unless you are actively harming your child you are a good parent. Any parent doing their best is a good parent. Not perfect. Not the best parent in the world, maybe, but a good parent. I will not allow my child’s behavior to make me feel like a bad mom. I may not be perfect – I know I am so very far from it – but I do work hard to be my best.
Sure I may need to readjust some things. But Life truly is like a box of chocolates: some of days are yummy and tasty and others are just plain gross! But you enjoy the yummy ones and cherish them with all your heart. The bad days you just throw out and forget, learning from them what you can. That is what I am doing with today: learning that I am a good mama even on bad days, and throwing this day away like a bad banana!
So I leave you today with these thoughts: consider how other peoples shoes might feel before you judge how those shoes look. And you are a good parent, despite your child’s behavior, if you are doing your absolute best.
Lots of Love,
Super Mama Maggie
1 Praise the LORD.
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
who finds great delight in his commands.
2 His children will be mighty in the land;
the generation of the upright will be blessed.
3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
who conducts his affairs with justice.
6 Surely he will never be shaken;
a righteous man will be remembered forever.
7 He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
his righteousness endures forever;
his horn will be lifted high in honor.
10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,
he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.