Standing on the Side Lines

I found myself standing on the side-lines. I had spent so much time and hard work losing weight — out on the field working my butt off (literally). I had friends and loved ones cheering me on.  I lost 45 lbs in a short period of time (I don’t remember how long it took me); it was an amazing feat for me.

But then time went by and LIFE HAPPENED! BOOM! CRASH! BANG! and… Whoops… I found myself on the side-lines, not cheering others on, but stress eating, a habit which I thought I had broken.  I found myself gaining weight again — something I can TEACH others how NOT to do! I KNOW how to keep weight off!  So why did I get up to 220 lbs — the biggest I had ever been? Because I let life kick me to the side-lines. I let life take me over.  I allowed myself to get knocked down and I didn’t pick myself back up… for a long time.

It was 2010 that I weighed 165 lbs. I felt so good about myself. Not because I felt small but because I had done something I felt was impossible for me.  I had lost the weight that I did not like about myself.  I finally liked who I saw in the mirror.

Now here I am again, on the field, working hard, playing hard and BACK ON MY FEET! I will not let life knock me down this time. I stand tall, feeling encouraged (by my husband especially). My strong desire to do more with my life pushes me forward! I want to mountain climb first of all. Yes I do! I want to hike… often. I want to run and run and not feel like I am going to pass out — or worse, feel like everything is jiggling like a bowl of jello!! (It is embarrassing!)

I started at 220 about eight months ago.  This is my story.  (Yes it is a bit long-winded.)

***Disclaimer:  Everyone’s body is different and some people are perfectly happy with voluptuous bodies.  Wherever you are in your journey with your body is your personal story.  This is my story.  I am not intending to put down anyone else who happens to weigh 220 lbs and be 5′ 9″ like I did.  If you like you then GREAT.  I was dissatisfied with what I saw in my mirror.  Plus everyone carries weight differently.  One woman can weight 220 and believe that she carries  it in all the “right places” so to speak, while another woman carries it in all the areas she wishes she could shrink.  I was the latter.  And I am working on being healthy.***

I was always an emotional eater.  Comfort food is defined for me as every meal I sit down to eat — I need comfort daily!  I have also been a stress eater.  Ice cream gets to me — then it sticks to me!  I cannot keep any more around than I am willing to eat in one sitting.  Praise God for those new tiny ice creams that are itty-bitty.  I also struggle with eating too much.  Who doesnt, right?  It is challenging to stop myself when the food tastes so good!!!  I just want more and more and more and more and then I get on the scale and I want to jump off and throw it away!  I like to eat but I hate to feel…. so… big.  It is really just where I carry my weight.  All my weight is on my butt and my thighs.  They used to be called “thunder thighs” (probably because they make noise when I run).  Gross.  TMI maybe…

I don’t mean to be degregating about my body.  There are things I love about it.  I love my eyes.  I love my hair.  I love my lips.  I generally love my face overall.  I love my waist.  I have a little waist no matter how big my rear end gets.  I just want to be smaller.  But I digress…

Where was I?  I am in the field. Right…  I started again.  I did the same program — Take Shape for LIFE — because it worked  for me before!  I lost 45 lbs last time and would have lost it faster if I hadn’t “cheated.”  That is was the problem when I recently when on my program.  I kept running to the side-lines not for a drink of water like I should but for like… oh say a bit too much cheese.  Cheese is all fine and good but too much of it will keep you from losing weight.  I felt like I couldn’t stop cheating.  A bit of cheese here, too much high-fat dressing there… I mean there are a lot of little ways to go “off program.”  It throws a kink in the works and then the weight doesn’t come off quickly (like 2-5 lbs a week vs 1 – 2 lbs a week).  I wanted to lose it as fast as I can while still being healthy.

Well I DID IT!  I lost 30 lbs in 8 months.  It felt like forever and yes it took longer than 2 – 5 lbs a week.  I lost about 1 lb a week on adverage.  That is because I cheated a LOT.  This program works so well and I felt like a bit of a failure because it took me so long to lose the weight.  But I did lose it…. so that is really what matters.  I feel encouraged when I look in the mirror.

But I am not finished yet.  Now to KEEP IT OFF!!  I am walking at least 3 times a week.  I want to get to where I can run but I do still have a bit of thunder thighs.

Apologies if this bores you.  I just felt compelled to share why I have been on such a great program for so long 30 lbs.  This program can help you lose 2 – 5 lbs a week.  That is 8 to 20 lbs a month.  I aim to be on the 20 lbs a month range but I’ve only lost 10 lbs a month or less.  I feel like I want to be some poster child for this program but I can’t be if I cannot stop eating unhealthy.

So today I say STOP!  It is okay to eat unhealthy high-fat foods occasionally.  It is the habits — what I do all the time — that makes up my health.  It adds up.  One of the points of this program is to train yourself to have Healthier Habits for LIFE.  The goal of this program that I am on (and I teach) is to retrain your mind and body so that when the weight comes off you can keep it off foreverThat is the biggest problem of any “diet” out there…. Almost ALL of them can help you lose the weight.  Some may help you keep it off for a while, but not without cutting certain foods out forever.  This program teaches you how to eat what you want, in moderation, so the weight never comes back.  And when I say in moderation some of you are like, “yeah, okay.  So one bite of ice cream…”  No, not just one bite but also not the whole pint like you might be doing now!!

So I am working on healthy habits.  Walking, for example.  Then I will work on running.  Studies show that a person ages faster and has a generally lower quality of life when they are sedentary.  It’s challenging because I have a sedentary job.  I work at a desk most of my day.  But my snacks are healthy so that helps.  I do get up and move as often as I can.  But my real goal is to move more when I am not at work.  Oh and dancing is a GREAT way to lose weight or keep weight off.  It burns a lot of calories and is FUN! 😀

Anyways… I just wanted to share my story.  People have been noticing my weight loss and now that I am in more of a maintenance mode I wanted to share how I got here.  I do still want to tone my legs and rear, but that comes with harder work.  I could have continued the weight-loss portion of the program and lost more weight but Presten is getting rotund and its time for him to lose his weight.  So I transitioned into maintenance and here I am: 180ish lbs (I fluctuate), down from 220.  YAY! 😀

I do hold myself up to high standards.  There is another blog post for me…. Standards.  Keep your eyes open for that one coming up in my Re-Defined theme.

Keep pressing on.

Super Mama