Ever wake up and look at that to-do list and re-add items that you didn’t do yesterday? Or the day before that? Or a week ago? Does that make you feel like a bit of a failure?
This is something that has been on my heart lately. I have felt a bit like a failure — okay a lot like a failure. My mother comes to visit about once every six weeks. Well she hadn’t visited since September and I admit my house was in disarray when she came to visit in Janurary. It is NOT, honestly, because I knew she was coming and loves to clean. I work so hard to keep this house clean but with two kids and a husband who works full-time, it is tough. I KNOW many of you understand where I am coming from. But the messy house isn’t all of what makes me feel frustrated with myself.
Confession time: I am not who I want to be. I don’t read my Bible hardly ever. I’m not the best homeschooling mom ever. My house is never completely clean. I rarely pray unless I need something or someone else is struggling. (I mean God and I don’t “chat.” Not that it is commanded anywhere but really I think I should talk to Him more than when I want something…)
Really, dissecting that phrase: I am not who I want to be!! But I am not even sure if I am who God calls me to be. I am a mom, a wife, and a business manager to a busy chiropractic clinic. I work hard, but is it all enough?
I know that all it takes to change, for me, is to change my mind and just BE different. I find that change comes easy to me. However, when change involves other people, it doesn’t matter how good at change I am, they have to change too.
But the question here is am I a failure or a fixer-upper?
Is anyone ever a failure? Think about that for a minute…
In my humble opinion, no one is ever truly a failure until they give up on themselves or die failing. Look at Edison. He worked so hard to make that light bulb and “failed” many, many times. But it was the fact that he didn’t give up that kept him from actually being a complete failure. In the end, he succeeded in his goal.
So moral of the story? I am not giving up on myself. I am not a failure. I just have some fixing-up to do. I have to make goals, stick with them and see them through.
So when you wake up and look at the to-do list and feel less-than, give yourself some grace and get outta bed and get to work.
May you be blessed today and always.
~Maggie A. ‘Spoon