oops

A very good friend once helped me with an issue I was having.  We are constantly teaching Cassie correct and incorrect behavior.  For example, throwing a fist-flinging, leg-kicking fit is not okay, but communicating your feelings strongly is okay, even with tears. Or another example: smoking and damaging your body is not okay, but keeping your temple clean is best.

So, as an observant child, Cassie would notice other children and people doing these many things that we had told her were not okay.  With the good heart she has, and very outspoken nature like her mother, she would say, “oh he’s smoking! That is bad! Its not good for his body!” right in front of the smoker, which would be quite embarrassing.

One day I asked Amy, who had two boys of her own, what she did in such cases.  She shared how she tells her children that it is okay for that person but not for her children.  Until today I thought that to be a great idea.  But today I realized maybe not.  Everything we teach Cassie is from the Bible.  Where in the Bible does it say that its okay for some people to sin but not others?  It doesn’t.  The Bible clearly says that all have sinned and all sinners go to hell without the covering of Christ’s blood and God’s forgiveness. (Romans 3:22-24) In essence, we were unintentionally teaching her that sin is okay for some people.

I realized this during a conversation with her that went something like this:
”Mommy, do we have glue?”
”No, honey, I apologize.  We don’t.”
”Well mommy… Maybe a fairy will come and see we don’t have any glue and make me have glue.”
I thought about this for a moment.  How imaginative…  Then I realized that would be magick, which we teach Cassie the Bible clearly says that magick is sin. (Deuteronomy 18:9-11; Galatians 5:19-23)  So instead of letting the imaginative moment go by, I decided to teach her a bit.
"What would that be, Cassie?”
”It would be glue.”
”No, Cassie.  If they gave you glue, what would they be doing?”
”Magick.”
”Yes. And magick is wrong, isn’t it?”
”Well, yes I know magick is bad for me. But its okay for fairies.”

That made me realize what we had been teaching her.  She was right; we had been teaching her that it was okay for others.

“No, Cassie, magick is never okay, not even for fairies.”  I told her.

Now some of you may think that I should let imaginative moments be and not try to teach my kid all the time. However, I have learned with Cassie that whether I teach her intentionally or not, she is always learning.  So I could let imaginative moments go by, but if she is wrong she is learning from me that wrong thing is right since I didn’t correct it. Which just means I’ll have to go back later and teach her about it.  I take every chance I get to teach her.  I am laying the foundation for the rest of her life.  To me, teaching her is like making a foundation for a house. If a large rock fell into the concrete and created a lump you wouldn’t just leave it there; you would take it out!  If you left it there it would be nearly impossible to remove once the concrete dries.  Its the same thing.  Un-teaching a child is incredibly difficult.  I have experienced this with my husband.  My husbands’ mom, dad or someone taught him something or didn’t teach them something so now I have to re-train my husband.  It is a pain and very difficult.  (I’m sure he has the same experience with me from time-to-time.)

So I guess from now on I’ll have to teach her that while other people sin, often blatantly in front of you, it is not our job to make them stop.  It is our job to love them and stay firm in our beliefs and correct ourselves so we don’t model sinful behavior.  Its hard, though, because a certain amount of discernment is healthy and important.  How can you choose “good company” so your good character wont be corrupted without a bit of discernment?  (1 Corinthians 15:33) I think its more the attitude you use when looking at others.  A lens of love is always best.

~Supera Matris

More days like today

The most beautiful day… It was great.

This was a great day! So many things went right.  I wish more days went like today.

This morning, Presten let me sleep in and I woke up in a great mood, feeling a little tired but more rested.

As I cooked lunch I attempted to make Mom’s Tortilla Casserole, a meal my mom made often with turkey leftovers.  I was eager to make it taste near mom’s.  I DID IT!! I didn’t use the exact ingredients she did, but it tasted GREAT and so much like mom’s.  I was very proud of myself.

Then I encouraged Presten to take a nap when the kids did and I really enjoyed the quiet time.  We bought a game called “Fable” and we’ve enjoyed playing it; so I played that during nap time.

Then after nap we enjoyed watching the movie Cars with the kids.  I had made so much enchilada casserole for lunch that we had it for dinner. YUM TWICE! 😀  I never mind having the same thing for lunch and dinner when it tastes really good.

Just a side note — I attribute all my cooking and baking capabilities to God and my mom.  My mom is an awesome cook!! She never baked much when I was growing up, so I did most of the baking and loved it.  But my mom taught me so much about cooking.  She made me help her in the kitchen even when I didn’t want to.  I am so grateful for that!  She’s awesome!  So anyway, though I know I cook and bake well I take NO credit!  God has blessed me and that is that!

So any way…. After a great dinner we played with the kids.  Cassie is really into hide-and-go-seek, though she has a bit of trouble not laughing and giving herself away.  When she seeks, she will often call out, “Mommy, Daddy” and get a little upset if no one answers.  We’re still working on that one.  But we had so much fun playing.  Wren enjoyed it, too, even though she just clung onto me when I hide and sought.  She gave my hiding place away every time because she couldn’t stop giggling from excitement, but its okay.  It was so much fun!!

Then after all that, we danced to “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra.  (*Thank you Dr. Who!) and we all love dancing together.  Such fond memories are being made!!

After dancing everyone was tired, so we put the kids to bed and relaxed together.  We love Ghost Whisperer and enjoyed watching our latest recording.  When will Jim get his brains back!? Seriously!!…

Then I found a song on ITunes that I LOVE!! Its called “Float On” by Modest Mouse.  I LOVE THAT SONG!! It makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.

I LOVE MUSIC!! I really, really do. My life would be so different without music.  In fact, who knows what I would be like without it.  Music shapes me — it lifts me up when I feel down, it makes me feel loved, special, thoughtful… Music touches my soul. I love it.

So that was my super awesome day; a great Saturday with the man I love and my beautiful children.  If every day were like today it would be called Heaven. *sigh*

Oh yeah… and its been snowing off and on all day.  I love snow.  It was beautiful to look outside and watch it snow with Cassie.  I love Oregon! 🙂  It snows in NC, too (which is where I’m from), but not usually like this.  It would ice more than snow at my parents house.

*As for the Dr. Who bit… There was one episode that had that song on it.  We LOVED the song!! We had never heard it before that.  We didnt know what it was or what it was called, but we knew it was by “Electric Light Orchestra”.  So I entered that into my wonderful Pandora (www.pandora.com – go there, you’ll love it!) and the first song it played was that song – “Mr. Blue Sky”.  We’ve been dancing to it ever since!  We love to put it on and all dance together.  Cassie is such a cute little dancer.  It makes us all happy and feel good. 🙂  Look it up if you’ve never heard it.  Its great.

Well its late and though I could ramble on all night, you probably dont want to read all my ramblings right now.  Thanks for reading!

I love you and Jesus does, too.
*Love and Hugs*

Let it snow!

I LOVE SNOW!

I LOVE SNOW!  I LOVE IT!! I really, really do… It snowed off and on yesterday and we have two inches of snow.  It may not seem like much, but when you dont see snow very often 2 inches can be a ton! I LOVE IT! We bundled up Cassie (our 3 yr old), put on multiple layers of clothes, and headed outside to play.  We had lots of fun until I accidentally got Cassie in the face with some snow! 😦  She started to cry and said her feet and hands were cold, plus her nose was running.  We had fun until then, though.  So we came in and stuck her in a warm bath so her toes and fingers could thaw out.

So the house is a mess… I’ve been staying up late with Presten then getting up late and feeling lazy all day.  Its hard to feel like doing much when I feel so tired. 😦  I should stay up late with Presten, but if I didnt then I wouldnt get much time with him at all.  The kids are around from 7 a.m. until 7:30 so we dont get to watch our “grown up T.V.” (like CSI).  Plus, he leaves the house for work at 8 a.m. and gets home at 7:30 p.m.  So if we dont stay up late, we get no time alone together. 😦

I CANT WAIT until his job is finished! This job has been nothing but a pain from the very beginning.  They didn’t pay him as much as they said they would.  They have given him no control — not even over his own schedule.  And they are petty and mean when it comes to business!  Presten was SUPER sick Thanksgiving day and the day after.  He called in sick because he was vomitting and had diarrea. They rescheduled all the patients (pts) for the next week.  When he got his next paycheck, he was short $.  So she asked him about it and she said she had docked his pay for Friday. WHAT!?  He say all the pts the next week, so its not like they lost money!  I mean, seriously!?  How many days has he stayed late or worked on off days like Saturday?  How many of those days did they pay him EXTRA!?  How crappy is that!?  Presten was so frustrated.  But what good would it do to make a stink over it?? Would they give him the money?? Maybe… Would it make everyone more angry?? Probably… Plus I know why they docked his pay — they think he lied about it! I guess he could have gone into work.. “Excuse me, ma’am. I’ll be right back to adjust you… I feel like Im gonna poop my pants…”  After five or so times of that, and getting every pt sick, I guess he might have been able to go home… UGH!

Its okay… I have been praying for them since day one when they said they’d pay him one amount and then gave him another.

I gotta go! Cassie needs me and I need to get Wren up soon!

Be Blessed!
~Supera Matris