Faith vs. Trust: Are they the same?

I thought I had faith in God. I thought I believed in his ability and his desire to help me. Psalms 91:14 says, “Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

This verse says many promises. God promises to: 1) rescue me, 2) protect me because I acknowledge His name, 3) answer me when I call upon Him, 4) be with me in trouble, 5) deliver me from trouble, 6) honor me, 7) satisfy me with long life, 8) show me His salvation. That is a lot of promises! Yet sometimes I find myself disbelieving in Gods follow through.

It is not that I do not believe He is capable. “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Eph. 3:20) I know in my heart that God is capable of so much more than I could ever need or want. So why do I not trust Him?

Trust is defined as: 1) reliance on the integrity, strength, and ability of a person or thing; confidence, 2) confident expectation of something; hope

Faith is defined as: belief that is not based on proof. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and the certainty of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

So are they really the same thing? It would appear they are. To me, faith is not the absence of fear, but the courage to press on during hardships and still believe in God and His providence. It is believing that God will work things out. But if you believe someone will do something doesn’t that mean you also trust they will follow through?

So all my prayers for faith have yielded many trials: Two deaths in the family, A huge move from a haven I loved and enjoyed to a place I would never have thought to call home, A complete mental breakdown and the repercussions thereof, The rebuilding of my life since then, The consistent and ever-presence of Satan in my mind and in my life (yes I have rebuked the Devil; he still prevails). All these things have continually built my faith stronger and stronger. But still I lack the trust that God will truly follow through on all those promises listed above.

Will he really rescue me when I call for Him? Has he rescued me from Satan’s snare? Will he truly be with me during my troubles and protect me from trouble? I must say that I don’t trust that he will when I look at my most recent past. Trouble has followed me everywhere I go.

I feel alone and afraid. I feel deserted by God. Where is He? If He promises to rescue me then where is He? If he promises to protect me then why does Satan persist? Why do I continue to undergo trials and struggles?

The answer lies in my request: faith. As I said in a recent post: faith is not given freely, it is built through trials. I also cited a great verse in Corinthians that talked about how we are often put through trials not only so that we can feel the comfort and love of God but so that we may also show the comfort and love of God to others. So perhaps, just maybe, my trails exist to help someone.

I have recently taken up writing in hopes of publishing some books. One book I am writing talks about my struggles in life and how I have dealt with them. Many of my trials are not know by most of the people who know me, except those closest to me. My life has not been easy by any means. It has been one trial after another. But one theme has remained: God.

As I look back at my past I see His hand in every situation. One situation that I would like to share is a car accident I had when I was 17. At the time I was very uncertain as to why it had happened to me. It was a traumatic experience for me at such a young age. I was nearly killed because I ran into a telephone pole going quite fast; I never hit the brakes to even slow down because I was in shock.

Now, more than 10 years later, I fully understand the purpose of that accident. At the time, before my accident, my sister and I were at odds with each other. I didn’t like her much and she didn’t care for me either. We had so little in common and failed to even try to have a relationship.

When I was discharged from the hospital it was my sister who picked me up. I was starving after having been on a liquid only diet for several days. We got a roast beef sandwich in the cafeteria. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship that flourished into a friendship I will forever cherish.

My sister died on October 30th several years ago. Were it not for that car accident I feel certain that we would have never overcome our differences and become such close friends. Sure we still had those differences, but we agreed to disagree and moved on, building a relationship around what we did have in common. I praise God for that car accident.

I have many such stories in my life. Times in which I suffered but now see the purpose, or at least know there was a purpose. So why do I still struggle with trust and faith in God? Perhaps it is because these trials never end. But that is part of the human life. Some might say God is cruel because He puts us through so many trials and struggles. But do non-Christians live lives of luxury and have no struggles or trials. Look at the news. Many people who are famous and do not profess to be Christians struggle every day with trials: drug overdoses and divorce to name a few.

So it is not God who is cruel. It is the choice Adam and Eve made many, many years ago. Life: a beautiful life with God by our side, walking with us in a Heavenly garden, or Death: physical death, physical and psychological pain and strife. They chose death, knowingly or not.

So we suffer. I suffer. It is a fact of life. One I must accept before I can truly trust and have faith in God. Do you accept the reality of the struggles of life and have faith in God, trusting He will follow through on his many promises to us? I am working on it daily.

Celebrating Recovery

I have recently come across an interesting thing called “Celebrate Recovery”.  For those of you who attend a church, you might have something similar.  It is a group of people working through their addictions and downfalls.  Every kind of addiction; from drugs and alcohol to food and co-dependency.  At first I felt awkward and shy.  (Yeah, *I* wash shy!)  I was nervous.  This was a group of people I had never encountered before.  I admit that at first, for a moment, Satan told me I was better than these people and we discussed it.  “You are so much better than these people” he whispered “You have never done drugs or been a drunkard.”  Then I reminded him and myself that all sins are the same.  I shooed him off my shoulder and went on my way listening to the presentation.  After singing hymns, talking about their step process and showing a testimony on the big screen, they had group time. 

This is truly what made me want to come back.  I heard stories from these lovely ladies.  Stories about their drug addictions, alcohol addictions and even food addictions.  I felt humbled and nervous.  I felt silly sitting there with my “minor struggles” with sleeping too much, depression and my addiction to food and especially sweets.  Again Satan and I had the same conversation but again I shooed him away knowing he was so very wrong.

Are all sins the same?  Humans most certainly don’t act like it.  Many people, unfortunately, accept some sins while turning their noses up at others or, worse, persecuting others for their struggles.  Does God not say that we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God? (Romans 3:23-24)

22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

“There is no difference”, it says.  So why have humans learned to accept gluttony, smoking, and even “minor” alcoholism but persecute those who struggle other things.  I submit that perhaps the “other sins” are considered not only private – such as pornography – but also more negative.  Some people, I think, believe these sins are more harmful to the sinner as well as those around them.  But lets look at one of my struggles – obesity.  Those of you who have seen me recently might laugh or chuckle or whatever because with all those clothes on I don’t look obese.  But I do struggle with over eating and have been 220 lbs. at my largest, which is obese for my height and age.

Any way… I digress… how does obesity harm me?  Well being obese, according to reliable studies, causes heart disease, arthritis, and a shorter life, among many other things.  So it is very harmful to my body to over eat to the point of obesity.

How does my gluttony and obesity harm those around me? Well when I eat unhealthy I feel tired, so I sleep more and neglect my daily duties like doing the laundry, the dishes and keeping a clean house; which hardly teaches my children to keep their things clean.  When I become obese or overweight I cannot perform as well as a mom.  I don’t play actively with my kids.  They want to play outside but I don’t “feel” like it because I truly feel ill.

So a “simple” sin like gluttony, which is easily and openly accepted in church groups (notice POT LUCKS) does harm not only the sinner but also those who love them.

Now let me distinguish here since I thought of it.  I don’t believe it is being obese that is the sin.  Some people struggle with losing weight or gaining weight and I understand that.  The sin is gluttony – over eating and eating unhealthy foods, knowing that is it making you obese and unhealthy.  When we know something is bad for us we should not do it.  On the contrary, when we know something is good for us we should do it.

What is my point?  I love Celebrate recovery because they allow you to share openly and honestly about your addictions without judgment or gossip.  This is how I believe we as Christians should be.  The Bible is very clear about this issue – sharing our sins without judgment, gossip or persecution. Note James 2:12-13

12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!


Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

There are many other verses I could site here but I will just leave you with this: have more patience and love toward one another and recognize that your struggles are not any better or worse than your friends, co-workers, loved ones and even strangers.  We are all equal in the eyes of God.  The only difference between you and someone else is possibly salvation, which is meant to be shared!  So start lovin and start sharin!

Loads of love to y’all.  I’ve missed blogging.  My wordpress connection with facebook was screwed up but YAY I fixed it this morning.  Praise God!! Open-mouthed smile

So look forward to more of my ranting, raving and loving y’all!


Super Mom

If you are new please read my bio.  I am super because Christ makes me more than I am.  I do not proclaim to be super on my own.  Thanks! Smile

Ever the busy woman!

When I created this blog I envisioned myself getting on often and sharing all the wisdom and knowledge I wish to impart on others.   Then the reality of my busy life hit, and I also realized that no one reads this blog!! Still… On the off chance that someone cares how my life is going and reads this blog, I will post an update.

I believe God is giving me a bit of a wake-up call.  I have spent the last few months doing almost nothing while my husband does everything — from dishes and trash, to taking care of the kids and laundry.  So OBVIOUSLY I have not been the noble woman lately… I have felt so blah myself, that I have put aside everyone and everything that matters and selfishly slept the days away.  I have enjoyed some time with my family here and there, but not as much as I should have.

Recently, though, I watched Nanny Diaries — which I intend to buy and make myself watch once a month.  If you are a stay at home mom — or a mom at all, really — it is worth watching for the simple purpose of making you think about your life a little.  It made me realize how incredibly precious and important my children are.  They are my life, my job, my reason to live, frankly.  When I say that I mean that I often feel like my kids are the only ones that need me.  My husband loves me, my parents love me, and my siblings love me — but do they really need me?? And what am I able to do for God’s kingdom aside from raising these amazing kids?? So these children — MY amazing children! — are my reason for living right now.

So that being said, part of my wake-up call came in the form of knowledge of others’ woes.  My friend Jessica F.F. — who is a HUGE picture taker, and definetly a prayer worrior worth having on your side — has posted on her FB about two people she knows who have sick children.  One child has some disease which makes his skin sick; so his parents can hardly touch him, hold him, change his diaper, feed him, etc… The other child has heart troubles.  Both sets of parents spend as much time as they can in the hospital with their children while the doctors try to fix their kiddo!  I CANNOT even FATHOM what that would feel like!! I was afraid and just broken when my baby was distressed inside me and we had the emergency c-sec to bring Wren into this world.   I kept picturing Stephen — another child I know with health issues — and worrying that Wren would come out like him.

Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against unhealthy or retarded children.  I believe they play an important role in every life who comes into contact with them.  However, I think we all desire to be as healthy as we can and have healthy children.  I doubt any parent desires to have unhealthy or retarded children, both for their sake and our own.  It is a trial and a drain.  Please dont be offended by anything you read here.  I have a big heart for every kind of person and mean nothing rude, crude or negative in any way.  I have never been one to subtly say something. If I intended to insult someone, I would blaitenly do so.  That all being said, lets move on.

So, considering all these unhealthy children and adding in the Nanny Diaries and I have changed my tune!  The past several days I have spent much more time with my kids.  I still havent spent all my time simply because we are moving and I am the only one packing.

We are moving… ahh and ugh at the same time.  I am praying that it is God’s will that we remain at this next location for several years.  That is, in fact, why we are chosing that apt.  Its a bit more expensive, but we should be able to remain there until we can purchase a house.  One more move until we “settle down”.  Maybe this time I can put up pictures and decorate?? hmm??

So Presten got a job (YAY), and it seems to be a good one. Only time will tell, really, but the guy seems to be a very nice one and the sitation seems to be very desirable.

I guess that is enough of an update, for now.
God bless!